Ojugbele Modupeoluwa October 11, 2022 7 min read
Parenting may show up to be an individual matter. It could be a parent’s right to choose how to raise their child. Nonetheless, researchers consider it the foremost imperative open public health issue confronting our society.
Bad parenting is failure to monitor the child’s behavior or recognize deviant behavior when it happens, or ignorance and excessive discipline of bad behavior which incorporates a genuine effect on not only the child but moreover on the society as a whole. Poor child-rearing can cause serious unfavorable impacts, physically and physiologically.
Physically, poor child rearing such as child abuse, counting physical abuse or passionate disregard, can hurt a child or put them or others in unsafe situations. Psychologically, terrible child rearing abilities lead to children’s mental health and development issues.
We now live in an era where parents have gotten too busy, taking off small time to spend with their children. At home, house helps play a greater part in taking care of these children. Some parents are harsh to a point of drinking liquor, smoking and taking drugs before their children. They do not think approximately what they’re exposing their children to, and leads to a great cause of “adolescent delinquency” which is now a very common attitude among children. It’s unexpected that these parents who are gathered to teach their children are within the front line of terrible behavior.
In a few homes, domestic violence is the arrange of the day. Parents fighting and trading unpalatable words. A very huge rate of parents prefers taking their children to boarding schools with the trusts that teachers will instill good behavior in them.
In the past month, cases of school fires which have caused a parcel of fear among parents, school organization, and other education stakeholders. Terrible child rearing has impacted negatively on our society, of which awful childhood may lead to violations of social norms, drug addiction, or liquor abuse in adulthood. It can also lead to adolescent pregnancy, substance mishandle, truancy, and school disruption.
SIGNS OF BAD PARENTING
There are several actions and incidences that could make you a bad parent. Here are a few examples of bad parenting that you must avoid:
1. Lack of trust
2. Being overprotective
3. Not giving your time
4. Too much pampering
5. Lack of support
6. Comparing your child
7. Not setting rules
8. Withholding affection
9. Not being a good listener and lack of encouragement
10. Not respecting your child’s feelings
11. Using a criticizing tone
12. Not proud of his/ her achievements
EFFECTS AND CONSEQUENCES OF BAD PARENTING IN CHILDREN AND THE SOCIETY
Bad parenting has lots of negative effects in a child’s life and our society of today.
– Inability to have long lasting friendships and relationships
– Physiological disorder to a child
– Depression and low self esteem
– Neglected children are more likely to be prosecuted for criminal behaviors “juvenile delinquency”.
– Unforgiving spirit
– Waywardness
– Thuggery and Violence
– Poor resilience
SOLUTIONS FOR BAD PARENTING AND HOW IT HELPS OUR CHILDREN AND THE SOCIETY
Recalibrating your parenting style can require patience, honesty, and a lot of hard work. The great news is it’s never too late to begin. Positive changes in parenting can result in a better outcome for your child.
Here are a few tips to assist you focus on the positive.
1. Teach Kids to Be Good People
Educate kids to be kind, respectful toward others, be charitable, thankful for what they have, and have compassion for others. Of course, we all need our kids to strive to get great grades, win awards and accolades for music, sports, and other exercises, and be successful afterward in life. However, who they are as an individual is more vital than which awards, they get.
2. Connect with Your Child
Laugh together, spend time together, and connect positively each day. Whether it’s playing a board game, going for a bicycle ride, cooking, watching a movie, or reading a book together (or reading different books side-by-side, in case your child is older), great parents consciously spend time having fun and connecting with their kids in little and huge ways.
3. Keep Track of Your Kids
Know what your child is doing and with whom. Who are your child’s friends? What are the parents of the child like? Who will your child encounter when they play at the friend’s house and are there weapons in the home? These and other questions to ask before a play date, asking vital questions are crucial for your child’s safety but to an imperative way for you to keep track of what your child is encountering and experiencing when they are absent from you.
4. Guide and Support, Not Push and Demand
Parents actually want their kids to succeed and may push, nudge, bribe, request, or indeed threaten kids with punishment to induce them to practice an instrument, excel at a sport, accomplish beat grades and so on. The reality is, being a strict “Tiger Mom” (or father) isn’t likely to urge your child further than giving kids support, and tenderly nudging in case and when they need it.
5. Show love and Affection
Showing love and affection means more than just telling your child that you just cherish them. It moreover comes from supporting and tolerating your child, being physically loving, and spending quality time together. A child that’s loved by the parents will also extend the love to their friends and people they come in contact with, and this help our society to be a better place.
6. Talk and Listen to your child’s thoughts and feelings
Parents frequently spend a lot of their time with their kids talking to them rather than with them. Everyone need to be heard. And in spite of the fact, we don’t continuously agree with others. Frederick says, “we all require somebody to listen to us”. Practice listening to your kids and truly giving them your full attention (away from a computer or phone screen). When it comes to your kids, listen to their concerns and disappointments, approve their feelings, and clarify that they have a right to be angry. But not to act out (like throwing their colored pencils over the room). Instead give choices for them for distinctive feelings. You will be astounded by how much more you are feeling connected to your child, and you’ll likely learn almost lots of things your child is thinking and feeling. The best portion: You will be also showing your child how they can give you their undivided attention once you need to discuss something with them.
7. Boosting Your Child’s Self-Esteem
Kids start developing their sense of self as babies when they see themselves through their parents’ eyes. Your tone of voice, your body language, and each of your expressions are absorbed by your kids. Your words and activities as a parent influence their developing self-esteem more than anything else. Praising achievements, however little, will make them feel pleased; letting kids do things independently will make them feel able and strong. By contrast, belittling comments or comparing a child unfavorably with another will make kids feel worthless. Avoid making stacked articulations or utilizing words as weapons. Comments like “What a stupid thing to do!” otherwise “You act more like a child than your small brother!” cause harm just as physical blows do. Choose your words carefully and be compassionate. Let your kids know that everyone makes mistakes, and you still adore them, indeed afterwards you do not cherish their behavior.
8. Set Limits and Be Consistent with Your Discipline
Discipline is fundamental in each household. The objective of discipline is to assist kids choose satisfactory behaviors and learn self-control. They may test the limits you build up for them, but they require those limits to develop into responsible adults. Establishing house rules helps kids get it your desires and create self-control. A few rules might incorporate: no TV until homework is done, and no hitting, name-calling, or hurtful teasing allowed. You might need to have a system in place: one caution, followed by consequence such as a “time out” or loss of privileges. A common mistake parents make is not to follow the consequences. You can’t discipline kids for talking back one day and disregard it the following. Being consistent instructs what you anticipate.
9. Know Your Own Needs and Limitations as a Parent
Face it you’re an imperfect parent. You have got qualities and shortcomings as a family leader. Recognize your capacities “I am loving and dedicated.” Vow to work on your shortcomings “I ought to be more consistent with discipline.” Attempt to have reasonable desires for yourself, your spouse, and your kids. You do not need to have all the answers be forgiving of yourself. And attempt to make parenting a manageable job. Center on the areas that require the most consideration instead of attempting to address everything all at once. Admit it when you’re burned out. Take time out time from child rearing to do things that will make you happy as an individual (or as a couple). Focusing on your needs does not make you selfish. It essentially means you care about your own well-being, which is another critical esteem to demonstrate for your children.
As parents we should know that “It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.”
Frederick Douglass, our children represent the family they come, society, and might end up playing a leadership role in the country. Parents should understand that discipline starts at home, it’s their obligation to direct and counsel their children and they must ensure that they instruct them to know good from bad and they must work hand in hand with the school administration to teach their children aright. They must understand the psychology of their children and be friends with them. A well-mentored child will rarely engage themselves in uncouth behaviors. A parent’s pride is to have their child mention them as their first and best friend. In so doing, children will believe you in everything and when they are facing life’s challenges, the parent will be the first one to know.